Journal 8

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9:14 AM 3/21/2011

Everything that I am craving for is not truly what I want. The craving dies out in a period in time, although it is with killing intensity when it exists. Where does this craving go. While it shifts from object to object, What is the root if it? 

I crave for this food at sight once, and I remain. After a while, it is a gadget that I can't live without. And then I realize, I don't care of the jeep or the woman anymore and my craving is already for something else.

In this process, I am also totally blind to what I already have, that I miss enjoying. 

A brief time with nature helps me put things back in perspective. 

As the dust was unsettling with vehicular roar on the main road, a walk - 200 feet inside the mud road led to the serene lake which separated me from tall buildings lined up on the far side opposite to us. 

There were a few full grown trees that I could look and smile at. Burrowing animals making merry, busy this morning in their seemingly happy habitat. The sun gleaming through all of us as my shadow cast long on the red ground. 

Can one look at his possessions all the time with a fresh eye? With the same delight he had in him when he saw it first? with the same excitement and enthusiasm he shared in encountering with it the very first time?

And then things get familiar. I'm not able to notice the subtleties of things in sight anymore. Not able to see beyond, the bigger opportunities in time, staring at me. 

I realize, What a beautiful mind I have, that is eternally flowing and how crippled it gets out of touch with the vitality outdoors,tied down to my one spot, be it office or a place I call, home.